Monday, July 25, 2011

Bachelorette Recap: Poor Ry Ry

Very unbachelorette for them to show us who returned right from the get go.

It was so fun to see Ryan back and to see him get sent home for the second time. I loved when she was pumping him up and he had that goofy smile and then she hit him are an idiot.

Is there a bigger Delta Bravo than Ryan? No.

So I can either go hit it or go home...hmm I guess I'll go home.

Have there ever been so many contestants to quit the show out of pure annoyance at who was the bachelor/ette?

Constantine if I were going to jump off a waterfall I would suggest aqua socks over converse.

Ashley "we" did not decide for Constantine to go home "he" decided.

Ben, you said the magic words and it isn't I love you but rather I broke down my walls. There is nothing more effective for finding true love than to break down walls.

Ryan's least favorite word: "but"

Why did Ashley change into more clothes with JP in the fantasy suite?

Ryan you are from CDM yet you continually wear office casual to the beach.

What would have happened if either Ben or JP did not accept the rose? Considering three people have already left I thought it was a very risky decision for Ashley and ABC.

Where was Harrison to tell us there was only one rose remaining? That is just not right to break format at this point.

So it comes down to this JP v. Ben, two great guys who have broken down some serious walls this year and who are really at this point committed to true love and to maintaining that hope of a happy ending and to spending the rest of their lives together.

P.S. Bachelor Pad is going to be must see TV and Bentley we already suspected that you were better in bed than the rest of the contestants.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Bachelorette Recap: Water Heaters and Urine Lanterns

You d d d d d don't wa wa wa want to me me me meet my fa fa fa fa fa family. You have no i i i i, you have no i i i i i d i i de i i, I'm going to be a good father.

Ryan when are you going to learn that talking about your passions and what is important to you will never lead to true love. You need to talk about breaking down walls and connections and chemistry and the power of love, that is what makes people fall in love. Also FYI, I love hot showers, and I am not afraid to sit in that hot shower for 45 minutes if I feel like it, and my water heater better be ready and better keep pumping or I am going to be furious. I was personally relieved to find out that my water heater is working all day and is ready for me to take a hot shower on a whim.

Ames, you have come a long way since your days of running around Encino with Pauly Shore, congrats buddy.

I can't believe that Constantine stayed after that dog urinated all over his and Ashley's love. That was a sign if I've ever seen one.

I wasn't surprised to see Lucas go, how comfortable can Ashley be with a guy who just fell out of love with his last wife. I can see cheating or addiction but just falling out of love, red flag for me.

So it comes down to the Josh Grobans, JP and Encino Man. I don't think there has ever been a worse foursome in Bachelorette history. There aren't a lot of good options here, it sure is looking like JP, which sure makes me look really smart if you go back to my first Bachelorette recap. What can I say I am really in touch with my emotions and I can pick out true love when I see it.

P.S. Bremily, we are so shocked, that it didn't work out. No need to pretend, we knew it was over at after the final rose when he could hardly contain himself from backhanding you.

My suggestion to Emily:


Either would be a great choice for you.