Thursday, January 15, 2009

Worst Business Decision In the History of Business

Holy Gretchen! What were you thinking?

Best episode of Real Housewives Ever!

Last week Gretchen made perhaps the most foolish decision a gold digger could make. She has invested years of sitting in a hospital with her vegetable fiance Jeff and years of giving up her body so that upon his passing she could cash it in and it all went down the drain in a matter of a couple hours.

She decided (after drinking an impressive amount of tequila) that she would hook up with Tamra's son Ryan and they end up hugging all over each other and the show ended with them up in his be continued. In my opinion she has already done enough.

BTW has anyone else notice the weird tension Ryan and his mother have, they act kinda like they want to date.......or am I just crazy.

I can just picture Jeff sitting in the hospital watching this episode. How long did it take him to call his lawyer to get the will changed immediately.

I have been following the Bravo message boards and many feel that Gretchen was taken advantage of by Tamra and Vicki. While I will admit they weren't helping, Greedy Gretchen is still an adult and can still make her own decisions.

When the dust settles basically Gretchen paid probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 million dollars to hook up with Ryan, now that is a costly mistake.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Congrats to Utah on Winning the 2008 Logical National Championship

In this era of BCS perversion it really is a pleasure to be crowned the 2008 Logical National Champion.

Thank You President Obama for shedding some light on the logical National Champion:

Remember there is no playoff so we have to go by a body of work.

USC????? To all you AP voters who voted USC, you really showed your ignorance and your right to vote should be stricken: USC 12-1, Utah 13-0; USC lost to Oregon State, Utah beat Oregon State.

Texas????? Sorry you lost to Texas Tech who in turn was hammered by Mississippi who lost to Alabama who we all know got b**** slapped by the Utes.

Florida???? You were losing to Alabama until 6 minutes left in the fourth quarter and you lost to Mississippi.

Quick question, why do the coaches vote in the coaches poll if they are contractually obligated to vote for the winner of the BCS game......last I checked that would not really be a democratic vote but more of a contractual dictatorship. Last I checked this was America not Cuba, Florida did not have to float over to the Orange Bowl on a popsicle stick crafted raft. Although I do think it is time for Utah to defect from this absurd of a system (BTW: Gary Patterson of TCU; Rocky Long of New Mexico; Chris Petersen of Boise State; Dick Tomey of San Jose State and Pat Hill of Fresno State you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, you are a bunch of yellow-bellied idiots catering to the man. The same man that is keeping you down)!

Now that I have that out of the system let us rejoice in the biggest beatdown since a rookie Robin Ventura charged the mound on Nolan Ryan or since an undersized cocky quarterback with a last name of Hall decided to put the ball in the air against a ball-hawking Utah secondary.

Has there ever been a better 30 minutes of sports than the coin flip of the Sugar Bowl through the first eight minutes of game time as Utah put their heel on the throat of Sarah Jessica Parker Wilson and took a 21-0 lead.

It all started with Alabama All-American Antoine Caldwell in the coin flip when he stared down Utah linebacker Stevenson Sylvester and repeated: I gonna kill you! I gonna kill you! I gonna kill you!

Three sacks and a fumble recovery later, Sylvester is shockingly still alive. Stevenson's quote after the game was classic: "It was all hype," Sylvester said of Alabama's physicality. "We were a lot faster than they were and speed kills, that's what we preach over here. It was great. We just got back there on them and used our athleticism."

I am going to copy and paste the classic article from Rick Reilly in case the link is later removed:

Life of Reilly
Oklahoma and Florida can battle for the BCS. But we've already crowned the true national champ.
by Rick Reilly

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
The Utes trampled Alabama to complete a perfect season. How are they not national champions?

Some gifts people give are pointless: Styling mousse to Dick Vitale. An all-you-can-eat card to Kate Moss. The BCS Championship given to Oklahoma or Florida.

It means nothing because the BCS has no credibility. Florida? Oklahoma? Who cares? Utah is the national champion.

The End. Roll credits.

Argue with this, please. I beg you. Find me anybody else that went undefeated. Thirteen-and-zero. Beat four ranked teams. Went to the Deep South and seal-clubbed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. The same Alabama that was ranked No. 1 for five weeks. The same Alabama that went undefeated in the regular season. The same Alabama that Florida beat in order to get INTO the BCS Championship game in the first place.


Yeah, that's how it is now in the shameful, money-grubbing world of college football. If you're Florida and you beat Alabama, you get a seat in the title game. If you're Utah, you get a seat on your sofa.

Hey, remind me: What do they give out for one of those BCS things anyway? It's been so long since I cared. Something from Sears? This is the sixth year in the past 10 that the title has been in dispute under this cash-grab, fan-dis, monopoly that the BCS has created. Which is why the title game just doesn't matter anymore. It's like being named Miss Ogallala. Or Best Amish Electrician.

Just take a look at the teams that think they're worthy of being called national champs:

USC? Great year. Wonderful. Let's all go to SkyBar and celebrate. But it lost to Oregon State, a team Utah beat.

Texas? You think beating Ohio State by a nubby three points gets you the title? The Big Ten was 1-6 in bowl games! That's like pinning David Spade!

Florida and Oklahoma? They lost. Utah never did.

So that's it. Utah is the national champion. The Utes should probably have two now, actually. They went undefeated in 2004, too, and their coach still thinks they were the best team in the land. Smart fella named Urban Meyer. Coaches Florida now.

By the way, we're calling our title the "national" championship because it actually includes the whole nation­—all 119 Division I schools—unlike the BCS, which includes 66. Yeah, the BCS somehow eliminated the middleman—the NCAA. The conferences these schools play in take their dump trucks full of cash straight from the TV networks and fairness can go suck a lemon.

Nettie Tien

The Utes won't get the trophy they really deserve, so we gave them one of our own design.

Do me a favor. Call Ohio State president Gordon Gee and ask him why he won't support a playoff. He's one of the most powerful presidents in the NCAA. He could get it done. If he says anything other than, "We don't want to share the loot" then you know he's lying his bow tie off.

"This is not how we normally do things in America," says Utah president Michael Young. "In America, quality usually wins, not conspiracy. And there's a reason people usually enter into a conspiracy. It's money. You make money doing it. And those that are in on the conspiracy want to stay in and keep everybody else out."

Sure, BCS blowhards will hand you schlock about how the college football season is like a playoff, how it's an elimination tournament every week. Really? Well, how come Florida and Oklahoma weren't eliminated with their losses? Utah ran the table, beat everybody set in front of them, including Ala-damn-bama in no less than the Sugar Bowl, and gets the bagel.

Oh, by the way? It was Utah's eighth straight bowl win, the nation's longest streak. Among the losers during that run? Let's see USC, Georgia Tech, Pittsburgh, and now the legendary Houndstooth Hats.

"What else do we have to prove?" asks Utah's magical quarterback, Brian Johnson. Good question. He and the Utes essentially whipped Alabama at home. Handed Nick Saban a garlic necklace to wear the entire offseason. Stepped on his team's neck 21-0 in the first three possessions and never looked back. Let's see. Who was it that was losing to Alabama until nearly six minutes into the fourth quarter? Oh, yeah. Florida.

What, you want the Utes to win a spelling bee? Make a prize-winning souffle? Knock up Angelina Jolie? What?

It just slays me. It really does.

Call Myles Brand, president of the asleep-at-the-wheel NCAA, and ask him if he and his greedy presidents are going to stand in defiance of president-elect Barack Obama, who said again this week he wants a playoff and wants it yesterday.

Call Atlantic Coast Conference commissioner and BCS bully John Swofford and ask him what he's going to do if Obama starts asking the Justice Department to look into anti-trust violations against the BCS. The Utah attorney general has already launched an investigation into that very thing.

Ask him what he'll do if Obama asks the Department of Education to consider withholding federal funds from these schools that have entered into his secret club. You don't think playing in the title game means millions in general-fund donations for a school? That's as unfair as anything Title IX fought against.

Until all these people do the right thing, I'll be celebrating with the true national champions — the undefeated, untied Utah Utes. (Our new slogan: Utahk about a team!)

Lemonades for everybody!