The Death of Death Row

So a few weeks ago I was in Bankruptcy Court (just another day as an Esquire Extraordinaire) and one of the cases called before mine was the Death Row Records case. The Judge called the case and 9 white lawyers promptly proceeded to rise to represent varying interests.

I couldn't help but reminisce about the old days of Death Row.....Suge, Tupac, Dre, Snoop and the crew runnin the west coast, hangin fools like Vanilla Ice from balconies, and now what....reduced to a bunch of white attorneys trying to weasel any crumbs left from the Empire.

This was the day before the election and I was just about to give up hope that Black America would ever get the respect they deserve. Then I thought about the poignant words of Tupac in his epic song Changes "we aint ready to see a black president" followed by the stirring Nas video "Black President" and I know Pac has to be smilin on the Island where he is living.



Pac the masters to all your songs may have been sold to creditors through the U.S. Bankruptcy Court, but at least we got a black president....or at least a Hawaiian president.

My Graceful Entry On To The Field

Alright look at the 1:17 point, I am in a white long sleeve t-shirt, you see me go over the wall but it takes a good 17 seconds to see me emerge. Tanner was right behind me in the brown sweatshirt.

Perfect Portrayal of 95% of Zoobies

I think this speaks for itself, no need for further discussion on this one.

I'm Backkkkkkkk

Alright so I obviously have not had my priorities in order over the last month and it took an episode of Friday Night Lights to make me realize that I need to get it together, from now on it goes as follows in order of importance:

1) TV/Blog
2) Religion (just to be safe)
3) Homemade Salsa
4) Family
5) Work

I promise to never again put causing division, strife and pain by suing as many people, corporations and families as possible....before my blog.

Now back to Friday Night Lights. HANDS DOWN THE BEST SHOW ON TV. I love you Office, Lost, Hills, Island, One Tree Hill and 90210 but Friday Night Lights has it all...Teen Drama and Angst...Comedy...Good Writing...Great Characters.

I know it got jettisoned to the Directv channel (101 for those with Directv) which limits many potential viewers, (however to those without Directv let us discuss. First question would be, why? Second question would be, what are you waiting for? At this point it is clearly a step ahead of all other media providers. You get the Mtn., you get Friday Night Lights, you get 100 hours of DVR and Hi-Def all over the place). When you are switching over please let them know I sent you, my account number is 38457761.

So this week Coach Taylor was put in a real pickle at the quarterback position. Put in the freshman phenom or stick with the gutsy yet less skilled senior who has been through so much on and off the field. Perhaps he should lob a call to Mr. Whittingham. The Utes have a similar situation with the hugely talented Corbin Louks yet they have the gutsy five year senior Brian Johnson who just wins games. Whittingham has done an excellent job of slowly working in Louks in order to maintain continuity and team chemistry. We'll see how it goes for Coach Taylor as next week it looks like it is going to hit the fan.

Tyra, seriously you suck. I think Landry might be the coolest high schooler on TV and you dump him for Cowboy Cash, who is clearly nothing more than a player. I mean what does Landry have to do, kill someone for you? Oh wait he already did that! It broke my heart when you left him there alone after he got his wisdom teeth out

Finally, the moment that changed my perspective on life. Smash Williams (pictured on the top right) through the help of loyal friends, teammates, coaches and family finally got his chance and he will now be playing for Texas A & M while getting a college education. I haven't welled up that much since my daughter was born.

Props Smash you deserved it bro.

This Week on TV

The Hills:
Was The Hills on this week? By the time I went to blog about it I couldn't remember what happened.

90210:
So I must say 90210 is not disappointing. It is great teen drama with a twist. The twist being the positive message and agenda they are promoting. They have family night and all of the neglected teens want to be a part of it. The adopted black child gave a speech on the ills of drugs and alcohol. The effect that an adulterous affair has on a child is front and center. I could probably go on, but we all get the point, which is your children should be watching this.

One Tree Hill:
At this moment it is quite simply the show I look forward to the most each week. I welled up when Q's brother took his place in line with the b-ball team. If you are not watching, you need to get with it, how can you really consider yourself cool and hip if you are not up on OTH?

The Island:
So every year I begin the year with the following rhetorical question: how long are you going to continue to watch the real world/road rules/real world road rules challenges....are you ever going to be too old/mature for it.....are you a bad example to your child....is watching these shows a sin? I then proceed to watch them with unabashed dedication. Although it was advertised as different from past challenges The Island is pretty much the same as always......Alcohol Abuse and Debauchery, yet I can't look away. I was sad to see Abram go this week, I think him and Wes are the best challenge competitors of all time. The main questions left to be resolved: When will Dunbar snap? When will Johana be impregnated (this may have already happened)? Will Derrick's training finally pay off with a coveted challenge victory? I will definitely be tuned in for the ever important answers.

With new shows coming back this week should be a much better TV week. I was so bored with TV this week that I actually turned it off during prime time and played with my child.

Who Says The Hills Isn't Real

All of the non-believers of the "reality" portion of The Hills need to watch the black tear episode. The emotion was raw and palpable as LC and Audrina finally had their much needed talk. I almost broke down when Lauren said she felt like she was losing another friend and shed that now infamous Black Tear.

I felt like applying mascara and watching it again so that I could join Lauren with a black tear of my own.

As for Spencer, I may be coming around to the fact that he may be a douchebag.

OTH - WHY

As many of my true fans know, One Tree Hill changed my life. Last winter during the writer's strike I was desperate for new teen drama. I had never gotten into OTH and so I tuned into the Soap Network (Channel 262 for Directv customers) and started with the daily rerun.

It didn't take long before I was hooked. I was very impressed with the acting ability of Brooke and Lucas especially considering the off the screen difficulties with their marriage (another marriage ruined by Paris Hilton).

I think pound for pound Dan Scott might be the best villain on TV, and how do the writers get me to feel sympathy for him after he killed his brother in cold blood?

It might be the only show on TV where I get chills wondering what will happen next. Well Monday night's episode has really left me in a funk. We have all been inspired by the feel good story of Q, the troubled black basketball star who under the tutelage of Haley Scott and the mentoring of Nathan Scott had turned his life around and was really planning for a life off the court in case the whole NBA thing didn't work out.

About 45 minutes in I was near tears of joy when Q finished Les Miserables and got an A+ on his paper. 10 minutes later he gets shot to death in a convenience store as an accidental witness to a felony murder. Honestly OTH, couldn't we have just maimed him, why death? Saddening. RIP my brother.

A few other show notes from this week's episode. Deb is the hottest grandma on the planet. Payton is soooo annoying, is she really so caught up in her own engagment to believe Brooke's lame fall down the stairs excuse? Honestly Payton, you couldn't see that she also had grab marks around her arm and neck, last I checked bannisters didn't have fingers.

I can't wait for Dan to give Nanny Carrie the business, and I hope he somehow takes care of Q's murderer while he is at it.

Your Plan Sucks!

Seriously.......Who Wouldn't Be Mad If An In-Law Messed Up the Tivo?

Tivo drama, last night on The Hills. Hurricane Holly Montag moved into the Pratt's crib and before she had even unpacked she went ahead and messed up the Tivo, causing Spencer to meltdown and drive to Heidi's work to call her out for an emergency heart to heart.

Some might say Spencer overreacted. Others might agree with Heidi when she told him maybe he should leave the pad more often. However, FP the contrarian, has a soft spot for those who have been victimized, either by a loved one or their own DVR box, and lost that season premiere 90210 (Laura I empathize).

I think they really should have told us what 3 shows got deleted by the less sexy Montag.

I mean who would pass judgment on Spencer if she deleted:
1) The season finale of Lost; and
2) The Michael Phelps gold medal race vs. the French in the 4 X 100 relay; and
3) The final rose ceremony for DeAnna on the Bachelorette

That would certainly be more understandable than if she deleted:
1) The BYU v. Northern Iowa game; and
2) Rerun of Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School; and
3) Yesterday's episode of the Tyra Banks show

I guess what I am getting at is don't judge Spencer's reaction until you know what was deleted.

While we are on the discussion of DVR, I found a very illuminating study. I must say I have had this hypothesis for years now, and it is always nice to see your scientific theories turned into factual data:



I did expect a little more out of last night's episode, but at least it ended on a good note, Brody and Doug in jail. Someone must have insulted their styling attire or their occupations and got a beat down. Here is how I envision it went down:

Heckler: Hey Doug has anyone ever told you that you are strikingly handsome, athletic, and intelligent?

Doug: Actually I said that about myself on my website.

Heckler: What do you need a website for, you don't have a job.

Cue to Brody giving the heckler an intense yet sexy glare.

Brody: We have jobs punk, don't you know that we go to clubs for a living.

Heckler: Is that really a job?

The beat down ensues until the police show up and billy club our heroes Brody and Doug.

I know this post is getting exceptionally long, but I must touch on the new Brody Jenner show which is being produced by none other than Ryan Seacrest Productions which brought us such hits as Keeping up With the Kardashians and Denise Richards Colon It's Complicated.

The title of the show, BROMANCE, stars Jenner as a bro in need of another bro to join his entourage, as if Frankie and Doug aren't enough. This has hit written all over it. If it were a FP Production, I would have Spencer show up on the last episode and have them go on a romantic date. Brody would dismiss all of the other competitors/suitors and he and Spencer would make up and exchange promise rings as a token of their BROMANCE.

Sea World

Who Doesn't Love Shamu? But who wants to pay the $15 to park only to not be able to leave. Relief is here:



Believe it or not, Dana Landing Rd. is free parking with no time limit and is a short 3 to 5 minute walk to the park. Now you can spend that $15 you would have blown on parking on a Diet Pepsi in a souvenir Shamu cup ($9.95) and a bag of popcorn ($4.95).

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

The moment we have all been waiting for finalllllly arrived tonight with the pilot of 90210 gracing the airwaves of the CW.....and it didn't disappoint. It brought the intensity from the get go with the remix version of the old theme song (na na na na, na na na na, du du, na na na na, na na na na, du du) to the illicit escapades of privileged teenagers.

The cameos brought chills to the spine. Who didn't want to die when Kelly and Brenda reunited. I was so relieved that they have decided to let bygones be bygones. I truly thought that they would never get past the episode in which Brenda caught Kelly with Dylan and called her a bimbo. When Kelly objected....Brenda unleashed the infamous speech "if it talks like a duck and walks like a duck"; you have to see it, go here: http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/08/64743/index.html

Poor Nat he no longer has the intimate Peach Pit, but instead is a Corporate Lackey at a very trendy Starbucks-like "Peach Pit".

I loved the nerdy West Beverly broadcaster Hannah Zuckerman-Vazquez, apparently she didn't lose the annoying gene from her mother Andrea Zuckerman.

The girls are cute (especially Naomi, is she a spitting image of Jesse Spano, or what) and seem to have nice personalities. The boys are California Cool, although I don't quite trust Ty Collins yet. Finally the parents and adults are a dramatic upgrade, I was so disappointed when Summerland went off the air and I was pleasantly surprised to see the return of Lori Loughlin of Full House/Summerland fame, as the mom.

I was relieved that the black kid living in B.H. does not actually have black parents, but is adopted by white parents, phewww. The last thing we need is a bunch of minorities bringing down the neighborhood.

FP will be giving a prize to the first person to predict who is the baby daddy for Kelly's lovechild Sam. The prize is a surprise but I expect it will be quite savory.

P.S. Silver I will do whatever it takes to have my blog linked to your "blogisodes" and how do you create a blogisode, any technical advice would be much appreciated.

P.P.S. Did my Palisades readers take it as an affront that West Beverly's big rival is Palisades Hall? Releasing the pigs inside the school was a little uncalled for.